And That’s When I Totally Lost It

This is an actual photo of me that was taken when I went bazerk earlier this week.

When my (perceived) sense of control slips out of my grasp, I become an erratic and volatile wild animal. The smallest minor nothings explode into monstrous threats under the massive magnifying glass of my emotional frenzy. A questionable tone, another task added to the neverending must do list, sporks – virtually anything that isn’t synonymous with “nothing” may viewed as an  aggressive attack on my sanity. However it never begins that way.  I don’t expect it or plan it.  Nevertheless some Wednesdays don’t care about your plans.

Although I was tired, my day began uneventfully. I dropped my young daughter at daycare and rushed back home to tackle the mountain of work that comes with quarter end. A few minutes into the professional pile, my older daughter entered my office to let me know that there was a swarm of bugs on a plant our home.

I’m not going to feign indifference. Insects are not my favorite, but in most cases, I can live and let live. Outside. Inside is more like Thunderdome. Two bugs come in. None come out. I just can’t have that inside. And there’s no way at all I will be residing with a swarm of them. Never ever ever.

That was bad.  And while seeing that you have many many bugs is way bad, it doesn’t hold a candle to the realization that holy #&@! I think that those are termites.

That was REALLY bad.  My panic attack began, and I hyperventilated my way through a desperate phone call where I begged my pest control company to come out that same day.  Yes, all good – 2-4pm window. Ok. Better. Breathing going back to normal.  Someone would fix this.  And then my phone buzzed.  House showing request at 2pm – a couple of hours later.

Bad wasn’t covering the badness anymore. Nothing says “This is the house for you!” quite like a termite inspector reviewing a potential infestation right when a buyer walks the home.  Keep in mind, we hadn’t had a showing request for over a month.  Of all the times and days, it would have to be right then.

I called the company to have them move the pest control appointment to the next day, the hand of the clock swung wildly around as the minutes flew by, and we tried to clean to show-ready status. Having OCD and getting your house show-ready is only great on picture day and day 1.  After that, it just makes every other showing feel like you’re never enough. But I can’t stop trying.

We were still racing around trying to get the house ready when the doorbell rang. Surely they wouldn’t be attempting to view the house early??  Nope. It was the pest control guy that was supposed to be rescheduled. Panic. Why was he there when I had cancelled and the buyers could appear at any moment?? As we were talking (and I was still trying to clean), the kids started hollering in the other room.

A frickin bird had flown into the window and had become lodged in the sofa cushions on the patio. Seriously bird? Clearly I wasn’t going to leave a hurt bird or fresh carcass on the patio. The kind pest control man and I went out to figure out what needed to be done. The poor little thing was lying between the pillows. I picked it up with a towel, and it fluttered off. At least one thing went right, so I felt slightly better. The minutes still ticked away.

I begged the pest control guy to please come back later as I involuntarily itched my head and arms for the millionth time at the knowledge that my home had bugs – bleh. He left as I looked up and saw a car in  front of our house. We were past time! Panic!

We couldn’t do anything else so we jumped in the car to leave. As I opened the garage, I found myself trapped by another car in the driveway. Are you kidding me universe?? The realtor came out with a look of sheer annoyance and moved her car moments later. We drove off and one of the kids said, “Oh no!  The dog dishes are still in the sink!” He might as well have said, “Oh no! Your ratty granny panties are hanging on the television!” I was mortified. I heard my other big kid snap at him, “Hush!  You’re going to make her go even crazier!” Sadly she wasn’t trying to be funny. Thankfully it did make me laugh. Panic subsided.

Ten minutes later the showing was over. Hours of cleaning. Minutes of not liking. The realtor later gave feedback that said that the prospective buyers would have bought the house had there not been dog dishes in the sink.

(No she didn’t.)

We went back home, and I started to work again. I wanted to post something on the blog but decided to change a couple of minor settings to improve the layout. Such good ideas…such poor execution. Kaboom – total website blow up. Curse you plugins!  Panic yet again. I hollered for my husband. This wasn’t a po’ lil’ ol’ me kind of move. He’s a professional tech nerd. My nerdiness is more generalized. However he isn’t a web tech nerd, so his frustration quickly escalated as my anxiety (and supposedly) my volume also went up. He then did something that never goes well for any man. He snapped and told me to calm down.

And that’s when I totally lost it.

Lost. It. Like multiple term mayor of Crazytown, USA lost it. Banging my desk. Hitting my computer. Stamping my feet up and down madly. Screaming for him to get out. I went totally bazerk.

The story ends with a major blowup conversation about anything and everything – 99% of which had nothing to do with that moment – and a website that is working again.  Thank you Chaitanya at WP support – you saved my site and probably my marriage!

I hate those moments. “Frustrating” doesn’t remotely encompass how I feel about them. It is a terrible helpless feeling to witness yourself spiralling out of control.  You know exactly what is going to happen if the stress continues to build, but life just keeps pushing. Do you remember Vesuvius and Pompeii?  It’s like that but with less ash (so far). I flip back to normal much faster than I flip into wild animal mode, but the explosions are unwieldy and incredibly destructive in the meantime.

Like the calm after the storm, it’s been quiet here since that point.  Although I wish I could stick with perpetually smooth waters, that isn’t the ocean I sail.

As a follow up note, they weren’t termites. You are going to think I’m making this up. The pest control team said that they were crazy ants.  Can you believe it?

No wonder they felt right at home.  🐞

Joanna

Other critter battles –  https://misifusa.wordpress.com/2017/07/29/ants-wasps-and-mice-oh-my/

Partner

36 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. wakinguponthewrongsideof50
    Aug 05, 2017 @ 19:15:08

    I’m sorry. I laughed when the bird flew in. Well, at least you got all the bad and all the crazy out at the same time……glad you’re back, and it’s crazy ants…..I guess…..

    Reply

  2. misifusa
    Aug 05, 2017 @ 19:45:33

    I’m sorry. I giggled throughout your post. Not the laughing at you giggling, but the I totally understand type of giggling…the giggle that would have whisked you away with a glass of wine and a friend (me!) to toast to you making it through the absurdity of such a day! Well, I’d also have to include a side order of delicious chocolate to make it all better! You just can’t make these stories up – that’s the way life is, isn’t it? A series of unbelievable events! Thanks for sharing yours – we are all here with you Jo! Cheers to being incredible, honest, loving, beautiful YOU! xoxo

    Reply

  3. misifusa
    Aug 05, 2017 @ 19:46:53

    P.S. Love the new layout!

    Reply

  4. SDC
    Aug 05, 2017 @ 20:33:04

    😲😲😲

    Reply

  5. carolrolke
    Aug 06, 2017 @ 11:58:22

    Life, she is a treacherous wretch who don’t know when to stop pushing. Ugh! Empathizing with you. Here’s to better tomorrows.

    Reply

  6. inspirationpie
    Aug 06, 2017 @ 12:03:29

    Oh. My. God! Could anything else possibly go wrong?! LOL Glad you made it through all that and thanks for sharing!
    Jo-Ann

    Reply

    • MoJo
      Aug 06, 2017 @ 14:45:40

      Girl I have learned to NEVER ask that question! Btw in response I can tell you that I have since lost my theme and widgets, mysteriously relocated my theme and maybe fixed the widgets, and somehow hosed my fonts on my old posts. It’s not even an option anywhere that I can find but I did it. It’s like when a little kid gets your cell phone. You and I wouldn’t be able to call China, but they can in a heartbeat. By chance have you ever broken your post fonts?

      Reply

      • inspirationpie
        Aug 07, 2017 @ 12:31:58

        That is so crazy…what the hell could have caused all that nonsense?

        You crack me up LOL!!! I like the comparison to a kid and your cell phone…too funny! I’ve never had a problem with broken post fonts, knock on wood.

      • MoJo
        Aug 07, 2017 @ 13:32:54

        Soooooo I maybe found out a little while ago that just maaaaaaaaaaybe I broke it. Who can say for sure? (the WP help desk can say it) No one will ever really know. (oh it was so me) Thankfully it appears to be better now. (until I break it again – I’m still not entirely sure what happened!!!)

  7. mainepaperpusher
    Aug 06, 2017 @ 13:59:26

    I think they all got off easy. 😉

    Reply

    • MoJo
      Aug 06, 2017 @ 14:41:09

      And that’s why you are my friend. You are so funny. Xoxo Jo

      Reply

      • mainepaperpusher
        Aug 06, 2017 @ 22:45:06

        I’m glad we’re friends because the alternative sounds positively frightful! 😉 Truly though, did he really say “Calm down?” It’s amazing you aren’t a widow right now.

      • MoJo
        Aug 06, 2017 @ 22:10:19

        Haha exactly! When has that ever worked out well for any man ever? I’m not saying that he was wrong to say it. I’m just saying that he was crazy to say it. What is this? His first day with me? 😉 (But he’s still the best and I’m crazy thankful for him!)

  8. elbycloud
    Aug 06, 2017 @ 16:30:29

    I love you. Don’t know you, but you just said it all. Also, that friend in the ☝️comment with the wine and chocolate rocks.
    I should say, my love is kind of easy. I also really, really loved the exterminator who told me over the phone it didn’t sound like I had bedbugs.

    Reply

    • MoJo
      Aug 06, 2017 @ 16:15:03

      Hahahaha! I almost peed my pants when I read that. By the time it was all said and done, we I had four different exteminator visits. One to help me with the bird, that one again with another guy to determine that we had crazy ants, a third guy/visit to treat the exterior to kill the ants which ended up being crazy ants, fire ants and some other kind of small black ant (thank you Texas!), And a fourth to treat the inside of the house. The part that made me laugh was when we were telling the last guy how we were about to move and he was saying that we shouldn’t have ants where we were going. We told him that we agreed but that we were going to have snakes. I would have paid big money to have a photo of the reaction he had. I half expected him to tell us he quit right then, but I imagine he will brave it out. We love that guy.

      Reply

  9. Runaway Nuns and Leprechauns
    Aug 07, 2017 @ 14:25:51

    This is classic! It’s like you were in a bad movie but it was hilarious… to those on the outside looking in… I think you missed you Funniest Home Video pop but if this is your life regularly I’d keep the cameras handy..

    Reply

    • MoJo
      Aug 07, 2017 @ 14:20:05

      Sometimes I think that but then I’m afraid of everything else it will catch on film!!! ;). Your comment and your blogger name so made me giggle. Thank you for that. I adore you already!

      Reply

      • Runaway Nuns and Leprechauns
        Aug 07, 2017 @ 21:54:28

        Thank you!! I have a two year old and catching her on film performing some of her antics could either make me rich or send me to jail—- so I completely understand!

      • MoJo
        Aug 08, 2017 @ 15:19:43

        My daughter is doing the pottie training madness at the moment so there’s a lot of her running away from us in the buff. Drives me crazy but it’s pretty hilarious, too. I was telling my husband this morning how I so wanted to film her because it’s hysterical, but that ain’t gonna happen. Remember how our parents were able to take pics of our adorable little tushies? No more of that. Too bad though because it’s damn funny sometimes. 😉

      • Runaway Nuns and Leprechauns
        Aug 08, 2017 @ 19:59:21

        Oh how I remember those days! LOL

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