Since I Couldn’t Find the Right Hallmark Card for Valentine’s Day…

v day

I tried to find a card. Not that he likes getting cards anyway because he feels like they are a complete waste of paper. Are you swept up in the romance yet? We go through this card dance annually. The closest thing I could find was a “Happy Valentine’s Day Co-worker!” card.  I’m not even making that up. It was so bad that it almost made it back to good. Almost. I sincerely apologize for not taking a picture of it – an inexcusable blogging error.

Valentine’s Day just isn’t our bag baby. Never has been. Never will be. But he got me a card. I know this because I saw it hanging out on the counter in the kitchen… just lurking there… waiting for me to open it. He bought that card because he recognizes that I appreciate a display of effort. I wanted to return said display and thus tried to find a card for him. However I wanted one that conveyed how I honestly felt. A real card. A card that captured the essence of our relationship. A card that he would know could only be from me.

And the picture above is the end result. I even created that lovely magical heart-barfing emoji. Yes, once again, I have proven that I am a true artist. As a bonus. I am going to print it on used paper that already has been used on the other side or maybe a piece of old mail. That’s right folks. I am an artist AND an environmentalist in action as evidenced by my overt display of my commitment to his weird anti-paper wasting card platform. Best. Wife. Ever. Yeah baby!

austin powers

If it’s your gig, happy V Day. If not, please know that a little part of that heart-barfing emoji is meant for you, too.

Love always – Jo

***This dose of reality is dedicated to Cayce –  a quick-witted gem of a mama and fellow anti-V Day activist, K-Skillet – my momming partner in crime who will be luxuriating in a swanky romantic spa day strictly because she booked the damn thing herself, and my dear friend Laura – hopefully your man didn’t buy you a frickin’ bag of salt again (Not aromatherapy salt. Not bath salt to soothe her exhausted muscles and nerves. Salt.). You ladies help me to laugh more, cry less, and smile always. I love you darlings! To the moon and back.  😉

24 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. I tripped over a stone.
    Feb 14, 2018 @ 11:08:03

    Can’t stop laughing!

    Reply

  2. LA
    Feb 14, 2018 @ 12:41:10

    ❤️❤️

    Reply

  3. misifusa
    Feb 14, 2018 @ 13:10:40

    It may not be your gig, but I’m wishing you a Happy Valentine’s Day anyway because, well, I just love you gurl! So glad we’re friends xo

    Reply

  4. roseelaineblog
    Feb 14, 2018 @ 13:57:49

    Better than any bought card ?

    Reply

  5. roseelaineblog
    Feb 14, 2018 @ 13:58:14

    Not ? I meant ! 😉

    Reply

  6. foodzesty
    Feb 14, 2018 @ 16:12:41

    🙂

    Reply

  7. Writer Lori
    Feb 14, 2018 @ 16:17:46

    Your originality beams through every pixel, Jo! I think it’s perfect, and I’m sure your hubby did, too! Happy Valentine’s Day!

    Reply

  8. manyofus1980
    Feb 14, 2018 @ 16:42:04

    lol! as usual you make me smile! happy v day to you or as our littles say, happy hearts day! ❤ xo

    Reply

  9. Karla
    Feb 14, 2018 @ 21:59:09

    I am with you girl! I hate Valentine’s Day! A truly Hallmark commercialized, pressure to spend money, holiday!

    Reply

  10. Inside The Rainbow
    Feb 15, 2018 @ 05:40:09

    I don’t do the hearts and flowers thing. I got OH a pair of PJs ha ha. My son, however, got me a mug with pugs on it and a card with pugs on it. He likes pugs. I should add that he’s 8 years old. 😉

    Reply

    • MoJo
      Feb 15, 2018 @ 06:45:54

      One is never too old for pug mugs. I love it! That so reminds me of the year that I received a Chia pet (remember those goofy plant things?) for Christmas from my parents. I was a kid and was like, “uhhh thank you I guess??” My parents were confused why I wasn’t openly jazzed about it and said how my little sister had told them how much I wanted it. I looked at her and she said, “Can I have it?!?” That stinker butt totally wanted that stupid Chia pet and tricked my parents into buying one for me. It was such a ballsy and rude and epically awesome sibling takedown and it still makes me smile. Whenever I see a Chia pet, I think of her. And now whenever I see pug mugs, I’ll think of you and your funny kiddo, too. ❤️😘

      Reply

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