Searching for Peace

My thoughts won’t stop circling. I keep replaying images of the final heart-shattering farewells of his parents and sister as the touching songs from the funeral loop silently with deafening tones through my mind and soul. Moments beautiful and raw. Impossible and unfair.

I have been inundated with work and all things family lately and consequently haven’t found time to write in weeks. But tonight I write in an effort to still this clamor in my head. I search for some semblance of peace and acceptance, and I hope to gain a hint of clarity and calm as I piece together this post.

I lost a precious family member in a car accident last week. Death is a rough blow to take when it comes for anyone you care about, but it’s especially hard when the person who is taken is young. The other people in the accident were wearing seatbelts and survived, but he wasn’t and didn’t. He lived life in his own bold style, and seatbelts simply weren’t his thing.

As someone who loved (and loves) him, I struggle deeply with this. My emotions are rife with deep sadness and overwhelming frustration. I want to turn back the clock to have a chance to change that terrible course of events. What if he really could have comprehended the true danger? If he had had the slightest understanding about how immeasurably important his life was to those around him, would he have chosen differently that night? If he could have glimpsed the unimaginable pain that losing him would bring, could everything have ended differently?

The truth is that none of us will ever know what might have happened. And while I have no idea if he could have survived that crash even if he had been wearing a seatbelt, I believe with all of my heart that he would made different choices that night if it meant protecting his family and friends from that pain. He would have never intentionally hurt the people whom he loved. He was kind and fierce and bold, and he lived to take care of those in his circle. Sadly, there is no turning back time, and there’s no changing that night.

It was just a mistake that ended with a terribly tragic accident.

For those who continue to drive but aren’t convinced feel that wearing a seatbelt is really necessary, I sincerely ask that you please seriously reconsider that. If you can’t make it happen for your own sake, please make that choice for the sake of those in your life whom you love. You have no idea how many lives you impact. You worth is beyond compare, and you absolutely matter. It’s not a huge action to take, but the result could be life-changing for you and countless people around you.

To P – I am certain that you will continue to look out for us all in new rockstar ways with your own bold style sweet boy. You will always be treasured, and we will always miss you. Keep soaring darling. We love you to the moon and back for forever and a day. – JoJo

20 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. LA
    May 28, 2019 @ 06:37:35

    Oh jo….💗💗💗sending you all the love I can manage! Call me if you need to talk!!xoxo

    Reply

  2. Writer Lori
    May 28, 2019 @ 06:43:26

    So very sorry for your loss, Jo. No death is ever easy, but losing one so young is a particularly bitter pill to swallow. Holding you and your family close in these sad times…xo

    Reply

    • Jo Price
      May 29, 2019 @ 10:16:29

      I just feel so sad for his parents, sister and all of the family that has spent most of their days growing up together. We have no idea how many lives we impact and how incredibly important we are to others.

      Reply

      • Writer Lori
        May 30, 2019 @ 04:56:16

        I can only imagine, Jo. Yesterday was my baby brother’s birthday and we had a lovely gab. The thought of losing him is a punch to the gut. Tell those you love how you feel as often as you can, because you never know when they may be taken from you, or you from them. That’s my takeaway…

      • Jo Price
        Jun 20, 2019 @ 22:32:51

        I keep thinking about that, too, Lori. I see my kids acting bananas and have been about to bark at them, and then I think about how blessed I am to have them there driving me bananas. I just can’t fathom it Lori. Life is so precious, but the preciousness of each moment is so easy to miss when we are in the day to day. I keep being reminded to pay attention and to appreciate every crazy moment with these incredible souls sharing this journey. And that definitely includes you dear friend. I’m truly grateful for you and your years of supportive kindness. You are cherished!

      • Writer Lori
        Jun 21, 2019 @ 05:14:37

        Awww, thank you, Jo. As I cherish you…xox

  3. Blueinkwriter
    May 28, 2019 @ 11:01:32

    I’m so, so sorry. 💔

    Reply

  4. yogaleigh
    May 28, 2019 @ 14:54:33

    So sorry to hear of your loss. Sending prayers for you and your family.

    Reply

  5. Playamart - Zeebra Designs
    May 28, 2019 @ 21:30:52

    You will not be surprised to know that you were on my mind this past week. Off line – and unable to send a query in your direction, I did indeed think of you/wonder about you….

    Thank you for sharing this sad news, and you are rightfully devastated; I am so very sorry and am sending you strong love and compassion.

    Reply

  6. Sam D.C.C.
    May 29, 2019 @ 08:32:53

    I am so sorry to hear this and the pain you are going through 😔 I wanted to send this because a little over a year ago I lost my brother to a car accident. It caused injury that led to his death within days. We never got a chance to talk to him or even knew he was hurt. And we never got to know what the circumstances were of what happened. It’s such an open hurt still of the unknowns and feeling it could have prevented. It’s just a lasting cycle of replay feeling like things were supposed to be different. I am so sorry for your family experiencing this together. I just wanted to say I hear you 😢

    Reply

    • Jo Price
      Jun 20, 2019 @ 22:22:19

      I have a dear friend who lost a sister years ago. She told me that she cried every single day for years. I can’t imagine the pain you must be feeling at the loss of your brother. I’m just so very sorry Sam. I believe that there is a greater plan in this lifetime, but I really wish that it all came with a play by play explanation. Sometimes it really just seems so damn unfair.

      Reply

  7. snakesinthegrass2014
    May 30, 2019 @ 09:55:33

    So sorry for your loss. Hopefully someone will share your heartfelt post here with a loved one who needs to see it. – Marty

    Reply

  8. writerwannabe763
    Jun 03, 2019 @ 08:34:41

    One of the hardest things to deal with is most certainly the ‘what ifs’ or ‘if only’.. when this happens. And yet knowing asking those questions can’t change things..But as you’re finding Jo it adds to the grief of losing someone you love. Thinking of you and praying for comfort for you and others to loved him and eventually some semblance of peace to follow.
    There are situations also…while not as devastating as this is…. that one wishes we could turn back the clock and do things differently that would avoid a lot of heartache….Anyway take care! Diane xx.

    Reply

    • Jo Price
      Jun 24, 2019 @ 20:42:14

      Thank you so very much darling Diane. I feel so sad for his parents and sister. The world keeps going for everyone else, but I’m sure that time is excruciatingly slow for them. I just can’t imagine how they must be feeling.

      Reply

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